Well, I’ve been sitting at my computer for three days working on my website, setting up events for my annual road trip to FL, learning about inserting PayPal buttons and all kinds of groovy stuff so I thought I should take the time to write a little something here. Basically starting with a blank mind. I guess that’s not such a bad thing. Leaves room for endless possibilities.

I have been thinking today about the richness of life, something I think about a lot with gratitude, since I am one of those people who has been blessed with the ability to feel deeply. First thing this morning a video came my way by Nic Askew, a short film in his series of “Soul Biographies”- well worth visiting his website and getting on his email list (click on his name above). The film was an excerpt from a longer film that he is in the process of making called The Soul of Stress. The man speaking is an ex-Navy Seal, Christopher Maher, whose entire life for many years was essentially dedicated to being able to manage stress. The man is clear and soft-spoken and so calm that you think “Yes, this is the person I would want around when the shit hits the fan.” He talks about why he “resonated” with the career choice he made, realizing he started on that path- learning to handle stress- at two days old. He talks about what happened to him then “when the nervous system is as fragile as a butterfly’s wing”. It is a powerful and poignant story.

So I woke up feeling grateful. Later I learned of the death of a dear friend of a very dear friend of mine who passed away almost two years ago. Avedis loved my friend Shin Ae deeply and I know he is so happy to be dancing with her- and we who knew them were all blessed by their presence on earth. I didn’t know Avedis well at all but I know that he was Shin Ae’s rock solid support when she was undergoing cancer treatment and his heart hurt watching her go through her trials.

Tomorrow I am going into a sound studio, Celebration Sound, to record some sound journeys- the first stage of a CD project my son Namdev and i are working on together. You can find him at The Midwest Visual Agency (and he’s all over the internet besides that- Joshua Namdev Hardisty).

I have strayed a bit from my point- it’s a bit of random access tonight- but back to the point is the line that runs through my mind so often from Jai uttal and Ben Leinbach’s beautiful piece “Radiance- Prayer to the Goddess Sarasvati”… “Peace to that huge ocean of emotions and feelings”… Please listen…

And then there’s this, another piece of music I find breathtakingly beautiful… De Profundis- Out of the Depths by flute master Terry Oldfield, with the song of the whales and a most beautiful prayer running through it.

Fortitude and equanimity… these are the words that have been echoing in my mind for over a week.

That’s how long it’s been since my son Ben was admitted to the University Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah. He has a rare bone disease, fibrous dysplasia and has had a series of health issues over the last two years which have kept him wheelchair bound. Last Friday he was on his way to work, which conveniently is at the same hospital, anxious to get to Starbuck’s before catching the train up to the University, when his wheelchair skidded on the ice. He flew out of the wheelchair onto the railroad tracks and broke his tibia. There were some people there waiting for the train who lifted him onto the platform- one man put his briefcase under Ben’s leg to support it and someone else got his wheelchair off the tracks just minutes before the train came. Angels all around, so it would seem.

He was taken to the hospital by ambulance and called me shortly after he got there, told me quite calmly “My tibia is toast. I’m waiting for the doctor and for them to bring me some morphine.” The doctor came, the meds came, and that evening he was taken down for surgery. The plan was to put a rod in his tibia to stabilize it. I talked to the doctor before the surgery and he seemed quite confident that it would be simple enough- basically a routine surgery for the orthopedic department. They had already done five of the same that week. Except those patients most likely didn’t have fibrous dysplasia- they had normal bones and probably fractured them skiing or snowboarding. Four hours later they finally called me. They were done. unable to do the rod although they tried for a long time. His tibia was too bowed for them to do it. They ended up having to do a plate which the doc said was less than ideal but would hold the bone in place until it heals.

So now it’s been just over a week. I talk to Ben every day, several times a day, usually for a half hour or more. I have been consistently astounded by his attitude, calm and accepting. He seems to be healing well except that he has had a fluctuating fever every day, the cause of which is still undetermined. He has blood tests and cultures and nothing has shown up positive. No other signs of infection and they have done several CT scans now to see if there is a possible blood clot.

Through it all Ben remains calm. He doesn’t get upset with his nurses or doctors, he doesn’t feel sorry for himself. Being a mathematician and a scientist he is clear and methodical and able to advocate for himself when necessary. He gets tired. I know there’s some frustration but more than that, bafflement. just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. And he just keeps on keeping on.

Wondering how I tie this all in with my general theme of music and sound healing I decided to post a video of one of Ben’s favorite recordings- Debussey’s Le Cathedral Engloutie (The Sunken Cathedral). I remember my music teacher Carl Thorpe playing it in a concert when I was 16. It brought me to tears and I have never forgotten the experience. I confess that I did not post Ben’s favorite recording of the piece- it moved too fast for me and did not have the atmospheric quality that I connect with it so I chose this one instead, which is followed by an orchestral interpretation of the piece- I think Ben will approve!